August 23, 2010

Save Yourselves! Run, kiddies, run!

Or maybe walk - because running could lead to dangerous things like slipping or tripping or banging into someone. There are POTENTIAL DANGERS everywhere! Like petting zoos. Thank goodness this article alerted me to this. Also on the no list - tree climbing (could fall), exploring (could get lost), beachcombing (could cut self on shells), running under sprinklers (could slip and fall and should not waste water), street fairs and carnivals (from cotton candy to carnies, I shudder to think), parks (germs, falling, other kids could taunt you and give com...plex, possibly squirrels - you never know about squirrels), walking in woods (oh c'mon, there's lions and tigers and bears - and trees could give splinters), playing with anything except freshly washed plastic toys (except the big legos from China as they have lead), hugging a teacher (could be a pedophile, you never know), reading a book (get a kindle before you get a papercut!), helping parents around house (chemicals and potential servant complex), talking to family members (years of therapy), catching lightning bugs (dark outside is potential hazard, touching bugs), catching frogs (oh. my. gosh.), having a mud pie tea party (officer, this woman is on drugs), fishing (PETA, help!), baking a pie (you let them eat carbs?), muffins and cookies (ditto), running, jumping, leaping, dancing, singing, touching, cartwheeling, breathing, laughing (this woman lives on Planet Claire and seriously needs meds)....

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